I Get It

 

Today is Mother’s Day! My very first Mother’s Day in fact. Although, I think I am so new into this gig that I still sometimes don’t feel like a Mom. To be honest, sometimes I feel like I am babysitting this little person. Then when Sam is overly upset and the only thing that can make him happy is to be in my arms, it hits me. I’m his Mom. He needs me and truthfully, I need him.

When my Mom would tell me that one day I would understand the love that she feels for my brother and I when I have children of own, I would roll my eyes. I knew she loved me and I knew that I would love my own children but I really didn’t understand that love.

Now, I get it.

It’s not just a love or infatuation. It’s a heart stopping and expanding feeling in the chest. It’s the fact that you want nothing more then to see this little person grow and thrive but wish to keep them little. It’s the sacrifice that you make day and night to make sure that there needs are met. It’s the fact that you suddenly become not important on the list of your daily priorities. It’s the feeling of knowingly giving your whole self (body and mind) to doing this job and hopefully doing it well.

So, to my mom, my mother in law and all of the rest of you Moms out there….I GET IT and you are such amazing women. Enjoy the day that shows appreciation for all that you give! Happy Mother’s Day!

To my Sam, in the years to come you will be giving me cards and home made gifts to thank ME for being your Mom and all that entails. But, thank YOU for being the one to make me a Mommy. I promise to spend every Mother’s day celebrating that fact that you are in my life and although the job not easy, you made me a mommy. I promise to do my best to be the best Mom possible.

I love you so much!

xo 

Samuel’s Birth Story- Part 2

 

*This post contains graphic content which includes talk of all things birth related. Please feel free to scroll down to the pictures and skip out on the details if you are squeamish!

I left you off last time with a bit of a cliff hanger. The doctor had instructed us that we could go to the hospital. To be honest, I was shocked. I had never done this before and I was sure that I would hear the words, “false labour”. I was sure that I would be told to go home and come back when things got worse. I was sure of this because to be honest at that point, it wasn’t that bad. Yes it was uncomfortable but very manageable It really is like a sharper version of a period cramp that I knew was going away in 1 minutes time and then I would get a break!

I have to admit, Ryan and I were very excited that we would be going to the hospital knowing that this was it….we were going to meet our child sometime soon! We stopped by the grocery store first to get some fresh fruit for our in room fridge and the pharmacy because I forgot contact solution!

I felt a little self conscious as we parked at the hospital and began carrying our bags up the stairs to our room. People were staring at us with a knowing smile that we were about to become parents. We got shown our big room right away and I was so glad to have gotten one of the good rooms! We were the only ones there that day in labour!

The very last belly pic! Also the outfit I wore pretty much the whole time!! I hated the hospital gown and the nurse allowed me to wear this instead!

As we settled into our room and unpacked a little (while having contractions) Ryan realized that he forgot to pack a toothbrush and a change of clothes! First time Daddy jitters? Probably! In between a contraction I proceeded to be the nagging wife telling Ryan to go get his supplies before things got too serious! So, off he went and I continued on by myself.

While Ryan was gone the hospital brought in my lunch which was roast beef and it was SOO good! I have to quickly say, I REALLY enjoyed the hospital food for my whole stay! And I am sure this big lunch helped my energy stay high throughout the long labour and delivery process.

In the weeks leading up to labour Ryan and I practiced what he needed to do. I think his quick trip to the store gave him a few minutes by himself to gather his composure and prepare mentally for what was happening because when he got back he was very focused. Ryan started religiously timing my contractions and was my voice to the nurses and doctors. He would tell them exactly how far apart my contractions were and he was vocal in not letting them check me while I was in the middle of a contraction. He also made sure I was 100% focused so that the pain would be minimal.

This is our “birth book” that Ryan used to write down all the contractions. While I was going through it I found the sweetest note he had written during the process (lower left). It reads, “Oh my Lindsay is doing so amazing. It’s like she is a natural. It is 5:55 pm and Lindsay is getting tired but she is tough as nails. I’m so proud of her on how well she is doing. Trish (nurse) just came into check the babies heartbeat and Lindsay’s as well”.

I was feeling pretty confident and proud when they checked me at 4:33 PM and I was already 8 CM dilated. Leading up to this point contractions were uncomfortable but certainly not something I couldn’t handle. The nurses kept coming in and were shocked by my progress because I wasn’t even showing signs of being uncomfortable. It was just a light and happy atmosphere just what I had hoped labour would be like but wasn’t expecting.

The other thing I wasn’t expecting were the positions I was in when I was going through a contraction. I had practiced with the birth ball and when it came to labour, I HATED the birth ball. It ended up my most favourite place to be was on the rocking chair rocking back and forth during a contraction. I think the rocking motion distracted me and helped me focus on something else besides the pain. When contractions got more intense, I preferred leaning on Ryan while swinging my hips back and forth!

When the doctor checked me at around 4:33 PM and I was 8 the intern remarked by saying, “At this rate, you’ll have the baby by 7 pm”….And that’s when things starting going down hill!

For the next 4 hours I continued to have back-to-back contractions that were very intense! The nurses would check me every hour and were shocked when I was still only made it to 9 cm and a lip. It was that “lip” that would not go away and was holding me back from starting to push!

This is when I was ready to throw in the towel. I was emotionally, physically and mentally spent! I BEGGED for an epidural! I pretty much offered everything in the world for someone to get me some drugs! The nurses gently told me that the anaesthesiologist was off for the evening and even if he was there there, I was too far along for anything. So, for the mean time they gave me some laughing gas.

The first few contractions with laughing gas were amazing! The contractions were bearable again. The only problem, the effects started wearing off. My body seemed to get immune to the gas quickly and after a few contractions the laughing gas did nothing to help with the pain. I ended up actually throwing the mask at Ryan and yelled, “IT’S NOT F**KING WORKING!!” Certainly not one of my proudest moments! Ha ha!

It was at this time that I thought I couldn’t do it. I was either going to die or they were going to cut this baby out of me. It was then that our delivery nurse came in and started stepping in over Ryan and it was actually exactly what I needed. It’s not that Ryan wasn’t doing a good job but he is a man (and him telling me to relax through a contraction almost made me stab him with a needle) and at that moment I needed a strong female (who has children) to talk to me and ensure me that everything is going to be o.k. She ran a bath for me, told me to get in and helped me through 2 contractions. By the time the 3rd contraction started I started feeling the urge to push, it was go time!

  Stay tuned for part 3 next week!

xo

Samuel’s Birth Story–Part 1

 

DRIVING TO MOM AND DADS

*This post contains graphic content which includes talk of all things birth related. Please feel free to scroll down to look at any pictures and skip out on the details if you are squeamish!

I have to be honest, I LOVED reading birth stories whenever I was pregnant. It fascinated me that every woman’s tale into motherhood could be so different. It’s such an important day in your life. One that changes you from being just a regular girl, to a mother. It was certainly the biggest day of my life to date, the day I met my son and I certainly want to remember that day for the rest of my life.

I have to take you back to Wednesday, April 2, 2014. I had been planning for over a week to head to the city that day to use a pedicure gift certificate and pick up stuff for Easter. I knew that it could be “any day” that I could have the baby but I woke up that Wednesday feeling great!

2 days shy of 39 weeks!

I took the hour long trip to the city and enjoyed a leisurely pedicure! I told the lady doing my nails to hit all the labour inducing pressure points hard! She just laughed and tried her best.

Later I joined my mom for lunch and then we walked around Wal-Mart for an hour picking up Easter essentials! I wanted to make sure I had everything I needed for Easter in case the baby came before!

As with any big event during the last stage of my pregnancy, I was feeling SO tired by the time I got home! After my big lunch, I didn’t even cook supper and just spent the rest of the evening relaxing.

Ryan had been sleeping in the spare bedroom all week because he had an awful cold that was making his snoring SO bad! So, as I went to bed I comfortably sprawled out into my king size bed to watch T.V. Around 10 PM my dog Tucker starting barking like crazy, which is very much out of character of him unless we have visitors. I sprung out of bed to look out the window and no body was there. I couldn’t calm Tucker down and I eventually called for Ryan. I made Ryan check the whole house for intruders as I was convince Tuckers amazing puppy hearing was saving us from a serial killer (too much Criminal Minds).

Of course, there was no one in the house so we all went back to sleep. After all of my activity that day, I slept hard! Throughout my sleep I could remember having a sore tummy but in my deep and drowsy sleep I ignored the pains and thought it was just gas.

I was finally awake enough around 1 AM to realize these pains were kind of regular so I began timing them in the dark with my phone. I did this for a little over an hour. The pains were uncomfortable but very manageable. The pains were coming about every 10 minutes apart and lasting for 45 seconds each. I was convinced this was false labour but I was excited that it also meant things could happen any day!

I crawled out of bed around 2:30 AM to use the bathroom. As I wiped, I realized that this may not be false labour after all because there was my bloody show. I have to admit, I smiled when I saw this tell-tale sign! Things were happening!

I calmly walked (aka waddled) into the spare bedroom to let Ryan know what was going on! As usual, waking up Ryan is a chore, the man sleeps SO deeply! When I was confident that he was coherent I said, “Don’t get excited babe but I think I’m in labour.”

What did Ryan do? He mumbled something and feel back asleep. Geesh!

So, I proceeded to try to wake him again and finally after telling him the news again he said, “Oh..ok! What do we do now?”

I told Ryan to go back to sleep and wake up when his alarm goes off and we’ll decide what to do from there.

I waddled down to the basement to relax, watch T.V and time contractions. 2 hours passed in no time and I could hear Ryan coming down the stairs. Ryan had been tasked to drive a tractor trailer to the city that day. We had a hard time deciding what to do. Contractions were still only 10-8 minutes apart but lasting longer. I was worried if I told Ryan to stay home and it was a false alarm, I would be very embarrassed. We called our manger, Pat for some advice and immediately he told Ryan to stay with me and not go into work.

I sent Ryan back to bed for a few more hours of sleep and I tried sleeping in between contractions. We finally woke up around 6-6:30 to clean up the house and get out of there. Every Thursday someone comes to clean our house and I wanted to proceed with the day as normal. I didn’t want many people knowing what was going on in case it was false labour. So, we packed up all of our stuff (just in case) and headed to my parents house to camp out.

It’s a very short drive to my parents house. We are talking about 1-2 minutes, tops! We pulled out onto the dirt road that lead us to my parents. Within 30 seconds a car was making headway from out of no where and starting tailgating us. Ryan continued to drive up the road and this brave young driver started to try to pass us. Ryan’s face instantly went red and he drove in the centre of the road before proceeding to slam on the breaks. He got out of the car, walked up to the young man’s window and starting saying a lot of curse words. I honestly didn’t know what was happening because I was having a contraction while the other car was trying to pass us. When Ryan finally settled down I couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of me in labour in the front seat while my husband was getting into a confrontation with another vehicle in the middle of no where!

By the time we arrived safely to my parents contractions were coming every 7-8 minutes apart. We relaxed at their place, had some Eggo waffles and waited for 8 AM, the time I had decided to page the doctor.

I had a doctors appointment scheduled for that morning and I wasn’t sure if I should go to it. When the doctor called us back he told me to come ahead to my appointment to get checked out. If it was real labour he would be able to tell.

I kissed my parents good bye and off Ryan and I went to my appointment. I sat in the waiting room for almost 30 minutes making small talk with other patients and grinding my teeth through contractors so that people wouldn’t know what was happening (small town problems).

I finally got called in and the intern working with our doctor started the appointment. At one point during the chit chat portion, I stopped talking and just danced in the room through a contraction. The interns eyes lit up and asked, “Are you in labour?”

I was kind of snotty when I replied, “Well, that’s kind of what I’m here to find out!”

Our doctor walked in at that point, waited for another contraction to be over and checked my cervix to see if I had progressed any from the week before (2 cm, 90% effaced). The doctor calmly started removing his gloves, helped me up from the exam table and said, “Well, I hope you brought your bags. You are 5 cm dilated and you need to go to the hospital.”

Stay tuned for Part 2!

Back To Regular Scheduled Blogging!

 

Happy Monday everyone! Wow! Is it ever nice to say that again! It is so nice to be back on this blog to update you all on what has been happening in my life. In one word, life is GOOD! Let me explain.

I don’t want to go into TOO many details in this one post because it would take you a million years to read all that I have been up to. So for now I’ll give you a quick update for this Monday morning. Fear not though, I have been writing periodically and I have A LOT to fill you all in on.

I promised myself after Sam was born that I would give myself 1 month away from the blog. I wanted to adjust to my new life as a Mommy without any interruptions from this wonderful hobby of mine.

And, adjustment it has been! The first 4 weeks of Sam’s life have all been SO different. You are trying to heal from birth, still be a wife, keep your home semi functional, visit with friends and family, work from home, nurse and doctor visits to remember AND become a Mommy with all that entails.

There is one thing that I can tell you that I have learnt so far. It’s something that I hadn’t 100% expected from myself. I’ve never been a mushy/gushy kind of person or someone that was overly maternal. I knew I wanted to become a mother one day but I wasn’t really confident in how that would go. Now, I am surprised to say that I absolutely LOVE being a Mommy!

It kind of hit me like a ton of bricks about a week after having Sam…this is what I am meant to be. I am here to be the mother of Sam. This little boy was meant for me and I was meant for him.

So, for the last month Sam and I have been getting to know each other. I have been learning how to feed him, change him and love him how he likes. Sam has been been learning about life outside the womb and spending his days teaching Mommy and Daddy what to do and what not to do!

Speaking of Daddy, Ryan has adjusted wonderfully. Ryan not only has become an excellent father but the best part is that he hasn’t forgotten to be a husband either. My favourite moments are ones that I steal from Ryan when he thinks I’m not watching or listening to him with Sam. When he sings silly songs to him, whispers “I love you” in Sam’s ear or tries to compare hand sizes with his sons little fingers against his.

Well, that’s all I am going to reveal with you for now. There is a lot more to come. You’ll see the birth story, nursery reveal, 1 week update and much more.

I really appreciate everyone’s kind words and support over the last month. There is one thing that is for sure, Sam has an amazing group of wonderful people in his life! “It takes a village.”

It’s good to be back!

xo

IT’S A BOY!

 

Ryan and I are overjoyed to announce the birth of our SON! Samuel Ryan William Woermke arrived safely on April 3rd, 2014 at 10:31 PM.

He weighed in at 8 lbs and 8 oz and measuring 20.5 inches long!

 

We are so in love and feeling so blessed to have this little man in our lives.

Please excuse the disorder of posts in the next little while as I adjust to life with a newborn!

xo

Year Of Dates 2014–March

 

Happy Friday everyone! I hope that your week has passed by quickly! I have to say, mine actually has! It’s kind of amazing the ways that my days are being filled! I am so glad that I am not at home twiddling my thumbs as I wait for baby to arrive! Let’s hope it stays like that! ha ha!

March is one of those special date months because it lands on someone specials birthday! It is fun to do something special that I know Ryan will like for our March date. As I mentioned before, dates are going to become pretty low key is the very near future. I didn’t know back in December how I would feel in March so I didn’t plan anything TOO extravagant but I knew we should still get out of the house for our date, while we still could!

The birthday boy was excited to open our next date envelope!

It reads, “Happy Birthday month my love! This is a very exciting year for you! This is the last birthday you will be celebrating before you become a Daddy! In about a month we will know if you are the Daddy to a baby girl or baby boy!

I that you are going to be an amazing Daddy and I can’t wait to watch you in your new role! You are already an amazing husband and I am so lucky to have you by my side through every adventure!

I’d like to celebrate YOU by spending the day with you. We can sleep in and relax before getting ready to head out to one of your favourite places for supper! The Keg…Yum!

Enjoy a Caesar (salad and drink form!), steak supper and delicious birthday dessert!”

And, we did just that! March was a very cold month, kind of like the whole winter we have had so we decided on the Hunt Club location in Ottawa that offers parking rather then our usual downtown favourite.

We got there right at 4 PM when the restaurant opened and were placed by a beautiful fireplace side table! It was actually a perfect dinner spot!

We ordered our drinks, enjoyed an appetizer (garlic bread and Caesar salad, yum!) before we ordered our main meal!

Then it was time for the main meal, steak! Yum!

We were both SO stuffed so we just split a mini brownie with vanilla ice cream! It filled that sweet tooth craving of mine but wasn’t too much to make me uncomfortable.

We drove home very satisfied and full! Ryan had been bugging me since around Christmas time to go to The Keg but I knew about this date and kept holding him off by telling him I couldn’t eat a big meal right now and wasn’t wasting the money! Ha ha! Finally, Ryan was able to enjoy a special birthday meal at one of his favourite places and we got to enjoy a romantic meal (that I didn’t have to cook). Of course, the best part of the date is the alone time we get to spend together. Truthfully, the best part is the hour drive to and from the city where we have all that uninterrupted time to talk!

It’s hard to believe it’s our last date month without a baby! I’m excited to see what is in store for us and our dates in the very near future!

Happy Friday!

xo

Baby W–37 Weeks

 

*Each bumpdate is from the week before. I am currently 38 weeks and 5 days pregnant *

37 Weeks as of March 21, 2014

This Week:

Considered full term! Woo hoo! The start of weekly doctors appointments and the start of my time at home!

Baby This Week:

The baby is around 6.5 pounds now! Growth slows down at this point and Baby is practicing for life after birth. If born now, Baby would not need an incubator to keep warm because of the presence of sufficient fat stores. Lungs are fully developed, which means the baby would also be able to have no problems after birth to breath on it’s own. Right now (according to my App) baby is the size of Swiss chard.

Maternity Clothes:

If I could just get away with walking around naked, I would. Baby is sitting so low in my pelvis that I hate anything around my waist. Pants sitting on my hips just feels awkward now. Shirts kind of stick out at the bottom now! There are a few of my maternity clothes that just simply don’t work anymore. I am definitely starting to repeat lots of outfits now that some stuff just simply doesn’t fit

Stretch Marks/Weight: 

So I actually didn’t weight myself at home but at my 37/38 weeks doctor's appointment I was down 2 pounds which I wasn’t surprised about. My stomach capacity is so low now and after about 5 bite of something, I am full. I can EASILY get away with one meal a day.

The stretch marks on my lower belly are obviously still there and a little darker this week as Baby is putting pressure down there. I know a lot of people say that a baby “ruins” a woman’s body. And I totally get that and have even uttered those words myself. But, I’m making myself stop. Because the baby didn’t ruin my body. It has just changed it, altered it. I am still a very healthy and functioning woman and I feel blessed to have been able to carry a baby to full term!

Movement:

Yes! Surprisingly lots! Especially in the evenings! I know they say baby movements slow down right about now but it certainly wasn’t this week!

Food Cravings/Aversions:

Liquid diet is my friend! Smoothie’s, yum! Had a movie date this week and had a YUMMY movie theatre popcorn! So good! Always so thirsty and I am constantly downing loads of water! More water then I have ever consumed in my life. Still really loving fruit more then any other food category!

No real aversions this week. Just hate cooking right now because I don’t really want to eat anything big.

Symptoms:

Big ol’ belly and boobs! Baby dropping has far more perks then negative in my opinion. No more heartburn is the best part! It was like I woke up one morning and my boobs were no longer resting on my stomach which I haven’t seen happen in quite a few months! Pelvic pain has increased which makes the waddle worse. I also prefer sitting on my exercise ball then anywhere else to help relieve pain. I get very tired in the day too and I think it is just from trying to lug my large belly everywhere all day long. 

What I Miss:

This week I actually missed work. No I didn’t miss the early mornings or uncomfortable office chair but I missed being there. I hate not being up to date on what is going on. I miss the social time with my brother and bestie Jill. It’s a big adjustment that is going to be harder then I thought.

Labour Signs:

Low baby! Lightening is the biggest sign. Doctor said at my last appointment that baby is sitting at 0 station and is “locked and loaded”. It’s just a matter of patiently (ha!) waiting at this point.

Gender:

I think now that my belly is sitting lower it is causing some confusion. I have been hearing of people changing their girl vote to boy lately. Its one of the hardest things at the end to be patient about. I just keep day dreaming about the doctor announcing which gender we have. It makes me giddy just thinking about it.

Belly Button In or Out:

Non existent!

Wedding Rings On or Off:

Unfortunately off and stored away until after baby arrives.

What I’m Looking Forward To This Week:

I cannot wait till my next doctors appointment just to see if I have made any progress from my last check. Also want to make sure things are healthy as can be as we enter into the final stretch.

Looking forward to a movie date! Was really hoping baby would hold on so that I could go see Divergent in theatres! It’s amazing to think that it could be the last movie I see in theatres for some time.

Dedication service for our godson/nephew, Everett!

Daddy This Week:

Daddy is sick as a dog and has officially been kicked out and into the spare bedroom. His snoring has been OUT OF CONTROL and was causing Mommy to have no sleep at all!

We have a problem Baby! Daddy and I have conflicting tastes in hockey teams. Daddy got gifted this “lovely” jersey from his parents. Daddy will have to dress you himself if he ever wants to see you in it because Mommy refuses! ha ha!

 

Wisdom:

9 months pregnant + solo kingsize bed = PREGNANT LADY HEAVEN!

Best Moment Of The Week:

Being at the doctors is always the best! Hearing that everything is still normal is a relief as I was starting to notice myself swelling a bit and worried the doctor would say something was wrong. Doctor has always said how cooperative Baby is and this week was no different. The ONLY problem with this past appointment was that the doctor mentioned he would be away this coming weekend which made me worried in case we went into labour.

At the start of the week, I was able to get a HUGE load of groceries for post baby cooking! Ryan and I aren’t really casserole people so instead we planned out 6 weeks of suppers for after the baby arrived. We shopped for the stuff we needed and then I chopped and marinated everything before it headed to the freezer! We have meatballs, chopped chicken, BBQ pork chops and lots of other yummy (and easy meals) planned and ready! We will fill in the weekly fresh items with quick trips to the store but the majority of what we need is here.

For Christmas this year, Ryan got me a baby journal book and I have been slowly filling it out. Finally this week, I finished what I could but now have to wait until our little one arrives! Feels great to have it done!

xo