I'm Here And Brownie Points

Happy FINALLY Friday everyone! 

I am alive. I swear! I knew that January was going to be a busy month for me but WOW! It has really kicked my butt! With three tradeshows and 1 family vacation, this month is going to be full! 

This past week I hoped on a train on Monday morning and headed off to Toronto for a work conference and tradeshow. It was a Canadian level event and very big event. 

Train food, yum! 

Taking this small town girl to the big city for work can make me feel very foreign. I feel as though I really stand out in the crowd. I work in a very male dominated industry and at this particular event it was about 1 woman for every 500 men. So that alone can make me feel like I stand out but then add in my small town ways. 

For example, I had SO much trouble getting around the conference center. I was constantly taking a wrong turn! It was 3 floors of large conference rooms and a very confusing layout. Let's just say I did use the "damsel in distress" card a couple times to find my way around. Worked like a charm. 

On the first night there was a company cocktail party at a local brewery. There was food and the only drink available was their beer that they brewed which reminded me very much of mud water! Yuck! You are expected to make appearances at these kind events. Walk the room and shake hands, exchange business cards. So this girl had to stay up way past her 8 PM bedtime! Something I am really not use to! And then getting up at the same 5 AM alarm to get ready for a day of education, some of them a wee bit boring and hard to stay away through! Thankfully there was an endless flow of coffee! 

All of that though, I could easily handle! In fact, I kind of thrive in that environment. I am no wall flower! I love to network, meet new people, learn new industry information and dive head first into positioning myself as the business woman I aspire to be. The thing I struggled with the most? Being so far away from Sam for work. Not kissing his soft cheek in the morning or singing him his bedtime song. It was a struggle. For the first night I felt like a fish out of water, there was a constant feeling of "something is missing". 

But as I was reminded by an amazing friend and caregiver for Sam, how lucky am I to have the amazing family TO MISS? One day I hope that Sam will understand my work life, appreciate and aspire to the effort that I put into work. 

Oh and the brownie points, well they went to Ryan! On the way to pick me up at the train station on Wednesday evening, he picked up flowers and had Sam holding them. Sam then handed them to me and have me a big hug! I pretty much melted into a big puddle of mush! 

Sometimes I feel so guilty for loving work and not wanting to be a stay at home mom. I think I am a better mother and partner if I get to do what I am passionate about. I've had to learn that even though I do love work, it doesn't make me any less of a Mom. I am a working Mom who dedicates her working hours to the bettering of the company she co-owns. EVERY other moment in the day, I dedicate to my boys and being the best mom and partner that I can be for them. 

Hope you have a great weekend! 

xo