17 Weeks Pregnant

Well, I made it. I made it to the "dreaded" 17 week mark. At exactly 17 weeks, we lost our baby girl. So while I was in normal pregnancy "safe" zone, I still didn't feel like I was out of the waters until I was at 17 weeks. 

At 17 weeks pregnant with baby number 3 and I was hoping there would be a calmness over me when I reached this milestone. Instead, I am thinking ahead like I normally do to the 24 week mark which would mean a baby born at this time would have a 50%-70% chance of survival. And then 27 weeks where there will be a 90% chance of survival...It's all a big numbers game in my head. 

But there has been nothing to make me or doctors believe I won't make it that far. The at first "annoying" every 2 week appointment and ultrasound has began to give me comfort. I am finding myself looking forward to those appointments to make sure that everything is happening the way it is suppose to. 

Besides those trips to the city every two weeks, the doctors have me on Progesterone every night until 34 weeks to help in uterus strength. The ultrasound is not always peachy. The latest ones they have let me look at the baby through my stomach but all further ultrasounds are actually trans-vaginal and with a "pressure test" which with a full bladder is not fun. Basically, they push hard on my stomach 3 times to check how the cervix is holding up to added weight. I can't even see the baby during those which is disappointing. 

I still feel very lonely at the appointments as it is out of my comfort zone however, so far I have always had someone with me which has helped. I have learnt that I need to pack a lunch as my ultrasound at 11 AM and my appointment at 1 PM means no lunch. 

One thing I am loving about the system they have at the General versus my other hospital is the nurse practitioners! They do all the routine checks like weight, blood pressure, urine and etc. Then they sit down with you and ask me in depth health questions every two weeks. Then we sit and chat about questions/concerns for however long I like. The doctor rushes in for the last bit to check up but other then that it's mostly the nurse. They have been a big comfort as they really give you the time you need to ask even the littlest of questions. Feeling like your questions are getting properly answered and explained has been a great help in my anxiety. 

I was reading back on some of my older posts from pregnancy number 2 around the same timeline as I am now. I think it was in the 15 or 16 week update that I mentioned besides feeling and being sick all the time, I didn't feel pregnant. At the time I guess it should have been a warning sigh but every pregnancy is different. Little did I know something was actually wrong. This pregnancy however has all of the normal pregnancy symptoms that you read about. Headaches, constipation, round ligament pains, tender breasts and the sickness. 

I was also telling my Dad over the weekend that at 16 weeks pregnant I remember telling Ryan that something was different with baby number 2. I had some movements but the baby felt like it was going to fall out of my cervix at any time. Little did we know that there was a partial abruption (soon to be full) that was causing this discomfort. As I went into my 16th week, I was paying attention to those feelings and thankfully, it is not the same. Baby is higher and movements are just below the belly button. 

Things are definitely different this time and I am looking forward to 17 weeks and 1 day, getting father along than last time and then hoping to hit every milestone after that! 

I want to begin documenting this pregnancy more now because I really do read back on my prior pregnancies and will likely want to with this one as well. Until then, 16 weeks last week and rocking a very prominent bump already! 

xo