Friday, December 15, 2017

2017 Inductee's Onto Our Memory Tree

It's that time of year again when Ryan and I haul out the Christmas tree and as we hang the ornaments reflect on all the special times we have experienced through the years together. It's amazing the things we have got to experience together through the years and we are certainly gaining quite a collection. 

While we aren't going on as many trips as we use to, we have a special little guy who adds some special ornaments to our tree! Plus we still have special tokens from the year that we will look back on years from now. 

1. This little guy was given to Sam last Christmas from his Nana and Poppa and he got the honor of hanging it on the tree. Although he called it "Peso" the penguin character from Octonauts! ha ha! 


2. These little things Sam colored last year and have his age on the back. They were also hung by Sam and I didn't have to worry because they weren't breakable! Although now that Sam has his own special tree in his room, I am thinking of putting these and ornament number 1 on his tree! 


3. This is my annual Christmas ornament from Ryan's Mom. She gifts all the girls in the family a beautiful ornament! 


4. This was given to Ryan and I last May on our 5 year wedding anniversary from my parents. Apparently the traditional gift for 5 years is wood so that's what on the ornament! Can't believe we are married for (over) 5 years! 


5. This ornament was actually just given to me from a gift I won at our girls Christmas potluck. We each filled mittens with goodies! The one I won was from Josee! 


6. This ornament was given to us recently actually on a pre-Christmas outing. We gifted our wonderful friends, who the Mom is actually our daycare provider too, supper and a movie on us! We went to see The Star and had supper at Boston Pizza. At the restaurant they gave us this beautiful ornament and card. It is a reminder of the emotional year we have had and the blessing that is to come. When we look at this ornament we will remember the last Christmas as a family of "3" before we welcomed our new little one. 



7. Ryan and I wanted to get a special ornament in memory of our baby girl. Something we picked out together that would remind us of her. We actually just received it this week and haven't had the hearts to hang it up yet. We have both been very emotional this Christmas and the season is stirring up a lot of tearful moments which is unusual for us. We think of the 4 month baby girl who would have been with us during all of our special Christmas moments. 



8. Finally, we have a new tree topper! I like to have an angel at the top of our memory Christmas tree. I never found one that I "loved" but I did get one from Canadian Tire that we used for years until I did find the perfect one. On our girls trip this year to Nova Scotia we were walking around the pewter store and I spotted this angel tree topper! I knew instantly that it was what I wanted for the top of our tree! I spent more on it then I like to admit, but I know in years to come that won't matter! It is a special addition to our tree that should last forever and hopefully I can pass down! In a way, it was very symbolic to me that the same year we lost our baby girl, I found the perfect angel for the top of our memory Christmas tree. Our forever guardian angel. 


xo

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

30 Weeks with Baby Number 3

Currently 31 weeks and 4 days pregnant



This Week:

Spoke too soon. Third trimester kicked my butt this week. 

Baby This Week: 


The size of a motorcycle helmet apparently! Which seems really big to me! 




Maternity Clothes:

The weather hasn't been too bad. For the Christmas house tour event I was on, I was pleased with the beautiful (snow free) evening which meant I could wear slip on shoes! Boots are such a pain right now. 

Stretch Marks/Weight: 

No idea in the weight department and I do notice a couple new stretch marks this week on my upper belly. 

Movement:


My belly does all shorts of crazy dances lately. For the most part, baby is pretty quiet in the mornings but then becomes super active in the evenings, especially right before bed. 

Food Aversions/Cravings:

Nothing really strong in the craving department this week. Just lack of room and appetite. I just don't feel like eating much of anything most times. 

Symptoms:

I spoke too soon last week after feeling so great. The weekend was rough and so was the rest of the week. There was some improvement towards the end though. I was just feeling like baby was going to fall out. So much pain and pressure down below. Random contractions keeping me up at night. I had one night where I thought it may be time to get checked out at the hospital but all was good. It's a little discouraging because your brain is telling you to "go" and get stuff done but your body isn't able to comply. Another weird symptom is the pregnancy congestion! So weird! 

What I Miss:

No pain down below. I dread moving. Even as simple as getting up from my work chair or using the bathroom. There was always pain down below all week but it lessens if I'm not moving. As soon as I switch positions it's very painful. 

Labor Signs/Health Update:


Not a lot in health update as I don't have an appointment for a couple weeks. But I feel like baby is coming one day and then the next I think we are safe for a few more weeks. It's kinda tough mentally as the thing I am most anxious for is getting to the hospital as it is so far away, it's winter and we have to think about traffic. 


Gender:

Still no idea but feels like Christmas (even more so!) waiting to find out. 

Wedding Rings/Belly Button


My belly button is flat and red! I wonder if I will have an outty this time! 

What I'm Looking Forward To/Best Moment:


Hmmm....I guess not having a baby? ha ha! I really did enjoy a couple fun festivities this week. Christmas house tour and book club! One of the best moments was a special food delivery I received! I particularly think this cook is amazing and to have these in the freezer is a nice relief and a treat!  

Daddy This Week:

Daddy just worked a 65 hour week and with the forecast I don't see that letting up. So someone is VERY tired and I am doing my best not to complain about my pain this week and just keep pulling my weight and then some with Sam and house stuff so that he can rest. 

Big Brother Sam:


The theme of being Mr. Independent continued. This sweet boy seemed to sense I needed him to be extra good and he was! He started this new thing where at bedtime he "surprises" me with getting himself ready for bed (bathroom, pjs, dirty clothes in hamper) and I go to my room to put my PJ's on. Then he runs to my room to show me he got ready all by himself and we celebrate! It actually is a big help because I don't have to be on the floor getting him dressed and try to stand back up. 

Wisdom:

Don't listen to people when they say "get lots of sleep now because when baby comes you won't". Have these people ever been pregnant before? I am up almost every hour either to pee, because turning over is difficult, baby is having a party or I just can't sleep. It's just training for some sleepless nights to come! 

xo 

Friday, December 8, 2017

My Idea of Romance

Happy Friday friends! It is a weird time of year at the farm here. Some days are super quiet and other days are very busy. We are walking the fine line between ending up the season by stuffing in as much work as possible, and then being stuck because it decided to snow. 

The girls in the office and I were chatting one day and somehow the discussion of romance came up. One woman mentioned how important and special it was for her husband to make a big "fuss" and big romantic gestures. Some of the example were breakfast in bed, roses, fancy candlelit dinners prepared and served by your love....


And you know what I did? 

Cringed! Literally crawled in my skin. Just the thought made me feel super uncomfortable. 

It's not that I've never experienced these things before but when I do, I get uncomfortable. 

Those things are lovely for some girls and needed to feel loved. But it is not the case for me. I have a little different mind set when it comes to romance. A quiet night at home with a movie, he empties the dishwasher or folds my laundry! 


Or giving me a break with Sam. Or always doing bathtime! Or watching him play with him and having family time. 




Makes my crazy Pinterest pins reality! Building me a garden and doing the manure part every year so I don't have to! ROMANTIC! 



Or taking me out to our favorite places to eat knowing I love not having the mess and he orders something different then me because I'd like to try it, offering me his last cheese stick, and knowing exactly what I like to order from The Keg when I'm gone to the bathroom he can go ahead and order. Agreeing to order dessert even though he doesn't like it just because he knows I need something sweet at the end of a meal. Or opening every door for me, praying with me and bringing me a coffee from the city after a long night of snow clearing! 





These are the things that make me feel special and loved! I'd much prefer small gestures of effort then grand and extravagant ones. I like the every day things that make me feel like I am not alone in our relationship or in parenthood. This is my idea of romance! 

What is yours? 

xo 

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

29 Weeks with Baby Number 3

Currently 30 weeks and 4 days pregnant 

I completely forgot to take a picture this week! Woops! So here is a random selfie from one of our company Christmas parties! 


This Week:

This has been a wonderful pregnancy week! I've just felt so GOOD! 

Baby This Week: 


The size of a Barbie convertible.






Maternity Clothes:

A nicer week again! I am very much sporting all things maternity now! Although at the end of week 29, I did put on a red non-maternity dress that was empire waist that I wore to a Christmas party!  

Stretch Marks/Weight: 

Another big break which also means apparently I can't weigh myself at home! ha ha! It's so different this time really not caring at all like I did with Sam. 

Only a couple small "teeth" marks on my lower belly. Not actual lines. 

Movement:


Baby is busy and now because of the size, sometimes movements can be painful. I think baby is floating upwards a little too this week because I've hardly had any hip pain. 

Food Aversions/Cravings:

Still into the blueberry things! Blueberry muffins, pancakes, YOGURT...YUM! And I had a big need a for kit kat this week. 

Not really loving pork things or most meat in general I keep to a minimum. 

Symptoms:

It has been such a great week. Not a lot of hip pain, hardly any heartburn and just a little boost of energy as well. I know this is just the calm before the storm but I am really enjoying it while it's here! 

I think the biggest shift with the extra week into the third trimester is my mental state. I am no longer living with so much anxiety and fear. I know that if I deliver this baby early, it will be O.K. We are at a point in the pregnancy that a baby outside of the womb will be fine in the long run. That realization this week has helped me to be so stress free and I can feel  the results of that shift in attitude. I'm sleeping better and just more focused on other things rather then fear. 

What I Miss:

Not a lot this week actually! 

Labor Signs/Health Update:


Still getting the occasion painful contraction but non-painful ones are more the norm! They don't scare me as much after hearing how normal it is. I guess it's mostly smooth sailing until the next appointment! 


Gender:

Keeping it neutral! It's funny to hear the different generations on their take of us not finding out the sex. For the most part the older generation loves that we are going to be surprised where as the younger ones think we are nuts! ha ha! 

I'm getting told I am carrying high which I actually don't agree with. I think this belly feels lower then with Sam. But apparently it looks really high. So lower belly (which I think it is), indicates Boy. 

Wedding Rings/Belly Button


My belly button is almost non-existent. My wedding ring is loose some days but tighter on others. 

What I'm Looking Forward To/Best Moment:


Finishing up the last of the company Christmas party organizing. I always said I just wanted to stay pregnant until they were over! They both went off without any issues and were lots of fun! Great way to end a season! 



While it turned into a sad moment we put up our memory tree in the basement. Not realizing the trigger it would send both Ryan and I. I guess it reminded us very much of our baby girl and all that we had faced this year that we didn't make it through decorating it all. We were both trying so hard to hold back to make it special for Sam but we just ended up embracing and the flood gates opened on both of us. 



Daddy This Week:

Daddy got his butt in gear and got some Christmas lights put up when his back was feeling better. The excitement in Sam was priceless. Daddy is hovering the line between day and night shift so it has been hard to get our lives straight to actually sit down for some conversation. Here's hoping for a more concrete schedule soon that will be easier to follow. 

Big Brother Sam:


Has made me realize how big he has gotten. He is so independent and loves to help. He will set the table before supper, pick up his toys and is getting really good at communicating his wants and needs. I look at him in amazement at what a good little guy he is growing up to be. 





Wisdom:

Excuse the language but I have been joking that through this pregnancy my attitude is "f*ck it". I don't mean it to be rude but I am not letting things bother me so much this time of year. I am not stressing about every little Christmas detail, the obligations or even trying to please everyone. I am just keeping my life stress free as much as possible. 


xo 

Friday, December 1, 2017

These Are A Few Of My Favorite CHRISTMAS Things

Christmas is in full swing in our home. Sam is into it so much this year and it is so fun to participate and encourage the magic. He has so many question's about the details and he is soaking up all the important information. I hope that Ryan and I can make Christmas very magical this year and many years to come. It has been fun introducing Sam to some of my favorite things and it is fun to watch his own develop. 


1. There is no question that I have scaled down BIG TIME in the decorating department this year. Not only am I too sore to actually go around putting stuff up (and I can't take it out of storage myself) but I am also worried about taking it all down and either having a newborn or being 72 weeks pregnant. But there are some things that NEED to go up! One is the Christmas trees! Both the indoor ones. The one in the livingroom is my "pretty" color coordinated tree and downstairs one is full of memories and special ornaments. I love my special ornament tree! The other thing I insist goes up is the bright white light garland I got from Costco years ago and within that on the fire mantle, my collection of nativity scenes. It's just makes for a beautiful display of the true meaning of Christmas.



2. Another thing that I do love this time of year but I am scaling back on, is the holiday baking! I love to make oodles of treats that I can package up for friends and family. I love decorating sugar cookies but they are too time consuming. So this year I've opted to only make the peanut butter cups, shortbread and pretzel bites (and a pan of fudge for my in-laws Christmas dinner!). The peanut butter cups and shortbread Christmas "worms" are the cookies of my childhood Christmas' gone by. 

Again, cutting WAY back then what I usually do. The funny thing is that my favorite Christmas cookie is not even something I make myself. I'm sure I could but I worry it wouldn't taste the same. So instead I rely on Jilly to give me a taste of her Oatmeal Lace Christmas cookies! YUM!


3. Holiday traditions are BIG in my family and thankfully Ryan has adopted a lot of these with me. White Christmas while wrapping, Wayne Rodstad while decorating the tree, Christmas Eve service, snacks and GIANT "T'was The Night Before Christmas" book before bed. Some of them are really dorky but Ryan I think enjoys them now and enjoys having Sam involved in them too. Another tradition is our Christmas morning breakfast/lunch, bacon bunnies! It just isn't Christmas anymore without a snack of bacon bunnies while opening gifts. This is a newer tradition. When I was a kid we would have Christmas morning pizza but since Ryan and I have been married, it has been bacon bunnies! It has stuck and now a very important thing to consider when getting ready for Christmas! 


4. Costco wrapping paper!  A small item but when you are a wrapping gifts for everyone (a task I do actually enjoy) good quality wrapping paper is important. It's two sided, thick and the magical roll takes FOREVER to run out. So I usually have 2 rolls of paper which is like having 4 except they last so long. It's thickness makes for smooth cutting and no tearing when lifting up the gifts! I don't shop a lot at costco, but I do take a special trip just to pick up this paper!


5. Anyone who has talked to me over the last 3 years will have heard me RAVE about a tree-mote. My Dad has to take the credit for this item. He picked me up this gadget three years ago and then one week later I asked him to pick me up 4 more! This dandy tool plugs into your wall and you then plug in your tree/gardland/whatever. When you are ready to turn on or off the this item/light just press the button! No more bending down, no more trying to maneuver around decorations or furniture. This might sound so lazy but it really is amazing! My decorative tree is in a bay window (for example) and to try and get around the back was always so hard! I'd pretty much be army crawling on my belly to get it plugged in every night. Now Sam comes home and takes the remotes to turn on all the hard-to-plug-in items! He actually didn't understand how to turn on his own little blue tree without one (something we resolved right away). You can get them on Amazon or at Canadian Tire! GO AND GET ONE! It's worth it! 


As usual, a pretty unconventional list of Christmas favorite things. I do love the usual things too. Hot chocolate, Christmas cards, movies, music and spending time with family and friends. But these are just some of the items that help bring some extra joy to me and our home and things that I think of that make my Christmas special. 

What are some of the "unusual" things that make your Christmas special that might not be on everyone else's list? 

Happy Friday! 

xo 

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

28 Weeks with Baby Number 3

Currently 29 weeks 4 days pregnant 



This Week:

Third and FINAL trimester! Bring it on! 

Baby This Week: 


The size of a roller blade! 








Maternity Clothes:

The snow actually melted so it has been a little warmer. I kind of just live in my work clothes. I have 2 pairs of black maternity pants and then switch back and forth between a green and black long sleeve maternity shirt with a company sweater (unbuttoned) over top. When I try to wear a long sweater with my maternity leggings, the sweater is no longer as long as I like. 

Stretch Marks/Weight: 

Had an appointment after a wonderful 4 week break!! I actually lost weight which I was surprised about! 

Movement:


So much movement! I am trying to take time to remember what it feels like because it is the last time. 

Food Aversions/Cravings:

I have had a VERY specific and strong craving this week for BLUEBERRY yogurt. No other yogurt will do and one taste is not enough. So weird! 

But I am loving the fact that my belly has now reached food tray status! 



Symptoms:

Still more braxton kicks contractions! Doc said as long as they aren't 10 minutes apart or less, not to worry. Just one of those annoying pregnancy things. 

The waddling is here to stay I gather because the ultrasound tech and Doc both commented on how low baby is (head down!). So the pelvic pain and waddling is because of that. 

Then the usual. Insomnia, heartburn, congestion and fatigue. Still get the usual pain "down below" in the afternoon/evenings as the pressure on the cerclage all day. 

What I Miss:

My clothes. I am starting to miss being able to easily get dressed. Between trying to pick out something to wear and then having to put the effort into putting socks and pants on, it can feel like a chore sometimes! 

Labor Signs/Health Update:


Great appointment with the high risk team! The ultrasound tech was super descriptive. We saw baby "swallowing" and wiggling around. I knew right away from the screen my measurement was good. 1.4 before cerclage, 2.5 after ceclage and now 3.1! 

After a romantic lunch in the hospital cafeteria, we had a super easy appointment with the nurse and doctor. No weight gain, low/normal blood pressure, urine sample spot on. 


The first thing the doc said was that he had to take a second look to make sure there wasn't a patient mistake from the ultrasound. My cervix is now LONGER then it was at anytime during this pregnancy. It is like it has grown more closed. He was so encouraged that he said we could go another 4 weeks between appointments. We talked a "ditch the stitch" date which we are going to try and schedule between Christmas and New Years! So while prior we were going to be "lucky to make it until Christmas" before baby's arrival, it now looks like this baby will be born in 2018! 


Gender:

Still a mystery! The ultrasound tech tells us every time to close our eyes and turn our heads when they get close to the "goods". We did it again this week and when she was done she mentioned that we could have kept looking because baby had their legs crossed and couldn't see. She also mentioned that now that the baby is so big, a lot of the time it is actually less obvious because they either close their legs or cross them a lot. 

Wedding Rings/Belly Button


My belly button is almost non-existent. My wedding ring is loose some days but tighter on others. 

What I'm Looking Forward To/Best Moment:


Going to the doctor was a great thing this week. I was a little nervous from contractions but everything was fine. It is just reassuring that everything is OK! 

I am really looking forward to our company Christmas party. It is a lot of work to plan and when it is over, I feel like I can relax a little. I am also planning on getting 99% of the Christmas shopping done on black Friday! 

Daddy This Week:

Daddy has been pretty useless himself at the end of the week. He hurt his back working out so now we are both unable to lift things. I had intentions of getting him to bring up Christmas decoration boxes so that I could putter away at the rest of the decorating but he can't lift them. And neither can I....SO we have 1 Christmas tree up and zero other decorations! 

He was very serious and mad when I would not massage his back for him when he hurt it. I told him he has yet to rub my back or feet and now he can know what it feels like! 

Big Brother Sam:


Big brother has recently changed his opinion on baby gender. He is now team BLUE! Forever, he said he was getting a baby sister but now it's all about baby brother! He is getting a little possessive of his old crib and nursery when I started putting things in there. He wanted to sleep in his crib one night since it was "his". A little mini blue Christmas tree for his big boy room changed that though!  


Wisdom:

I am so thankful for online shopping. I literally did ALL of our Christmas shopping this year online. Even many stocking stuffers! On a year where I am not as active, I am thankful that I can still get the things on my list myself! 


xo 

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

27 Weeks with Baby Number 3

Currently 28 weeks 4 days days along! 




This Week:

Feeling a little anxious this week. Had a night of mild contractions and it kind of kicked my (and Ryan's) realization that we need to be ready into high gear. 

Baby This Week: 


The size of a camping lantern! 






Maternity Clothes:

It's cold and my winter coats won't zipper but I refuse to purchase a "maternity" coat when I could only be pregnant for such a short time. This happened with Sam and I just made it work. I did have to start wearing socks and shoes though which sucks. I hate bending down. 

Stretch Marks/Weight: 

Still no appointment this week and I do own a scale but apparently don't use it! ha ha! A couple small new stretch marks on the lower part of my belly that actually resemble vampire teeth marks. Weird! 

Movement:


Lots of movement and I love the stage in pregnancy when I can put my hand on my belly and feel a knee or an elbow sticking out. It's neat to feel the "hard" bones. 

Food Aversions/Cravings:


Hmm....I can't really think of anything actually. No strong cravings at all. Just cold water as I seem to be thirsty a lot. I just notice I am always STARVING in the morning. I literally eat 3 breakfasts. One when I get up at 4. Another at 6:30 and again at 8 AM. 

Symptoms:

Eep...LOTS of braxton hicks contractions and some real painful ones. Sometimes I am even able to time them. As the baby gets bigger, the end of this week I started feeling slight pulling on the cerclage area. No bleeding but defiantly pressure/pulling feeling. 

Then the usual pregnancy stuff. Heartburn, waddling, boobs out of control, can't see my feet!  

What I Miss:

Ummm..Wine? ha ha! I don't know but there is something nice about a festive drink while decorating our tree or wrapping presents. Not gonna happen this year. I also miss not hurting. Rolling over in bed is such a chore! 

Labor Signs/Health Update:


Eep. Yes. Contractions one evening which put me and Ryan into overdrive of terror. But they went away with some water and rest. 

Docs say it is fairly normal considering my condition and the stage in my pregnancy. I love my calm doctor. Ha ha! I'll be excited to see my ultrasound to see if my cervix is shortening or not. 

I started and now stopped the Iron pills I was told to take because of being anemic. They were just making me feel too sick. No matter the time of day or with food or not, they were making me so sick. 


Gender:

I can't wait to find out! I feel prepared for whichever gender it is. I find myself saying "he" sometimes when referring to baby which is interesting. I am finding my hair so limp and blah unlike when I was pregnant with Sam! 

Wedding Rings/Belly Button


My belly button is almost non-existent. My wedding ring is loose especially with the colder weather. 

What I'm Looking Forward To/Best Moment:


Looking forward to my parents getting home. The contractions hitting during their trip and hunting season kind of made me panic. Ryan was gone and so were the usual people (gone and had been drinking) in my life that I have on speed dial to drive me somewhere. It's so much different with Sam too. I have to consider care for him AND who will drive me to Ottawa. 

The best moment this week was getting our Christmas tree up in the livingroom! Sam is really into Christmas this year and while I am keeping everything easy and low key this year, I was delighted to see his face light up and co-operation with decorating. 



Daddy This Week:

Daddy has started some night shifts which is fun...HA! The change between day and night shift makes for weird sleeping and trying to figure out schedules. Our lives depend so much on weather this time of year. 

We decided that if I go into labor during a night shift, that someone else will drive me to the hospital and Ryan will just meet us there. It just makes more sense then me waiting on him. 

Ryan was home for the first night I had a few contractions. He was like out of a movie. Running around, yelling, just going nuts! So we had a little meeting the next day where we calmly talked about what he needs to do. We even made a step-by-step list for him. He just isn't the "calm" in a stressful situation but this scare might help him be more calm next time. 

Big Brother Sam:


Sam has had a better week and in good spirits. My belly is too big not to join him in his bed for story time. But he really likes that we can cuddle in our big bed! 

He likes to try and feel the baby now kick and is really curious as to when/how it will get out of my belly (through my belly button, duh). 


Wisdom:

Putting on socks and shoes sucks at this stage of pregnancy. I've moved a kitchen chair to our door and have dubbed it "Momma's Chair" not to be used for anything else except to help my bend down to put on my winter boots. 


xo