On the weekends especially, I have been doing my best to get in some extra love and attention to Sam. Ryan has to work most weekends so it means that Sam duty is all up to me on the weekends. But I've taken this opportunity to try and squeeze in extra special things and time with him. Although super painful, I get on the floor for car races, we've been baking and snuggling more. I don't know if I am doing this more for him or me.
Current one-on-one time Sam gets with Daddy! ha ha!
Baking with Mom!
Sometimes I think I am doing this more for me as I want to get in as much extra time with just Sam before everything changes and I have to split the attention. Then the other part of me thinks Sam knows something big is about to change. And anyone who knows Sam, knows he does not do well to change! You have to pre-warn him for a lot of things in order to get him prepared.
He has been talking about and including baby in a lot of everyday conversation lately and so we know he realizes things are happening soon. This soon to be change also makes me wonder if the resent out bursts we have been experiencing is due to this. While he doesn't show anger towards baby, he is very in tune with baby coming soon.
Our typically calm, rational and cooperative boy, has recently started to have uncharacteristic rages. His very short fuse is very evident and there is no talking or discipline that is working anymore. It was literally like a light has switched and he has reverted into baby-like tantrum behavior. Sometimes an outburst can last 40 minutes!
While this behavior as of lately is driving me crazy and want to pull my hair out, I am trying to do the opposite of what he expects and when everything is calm, still spend one-on-one time with him and express delight when he does great behavioral things. I am trying to be patient and still enjoy this time with him before baby arrives. I don't want to look back on this time with him before baby comes as a "frustrating" period. So I've been playing things with him I hate (aka: Playdoh, for 1 whole hour, ugh!), putting my phone down and yet still keeping into his normal routine and schedule. While the outbursts still happen, I try to remind myself it's (hopefully) a phase and that it won't be like this for long.
Any advice fellow Momma's on how you discipline/calm a tantrum for your 3.5-4 year old when nothing else seems to work?
xo
Wait it out. I know that sounds like terrible advice, but just wait him out. His world is different and about to get rocked. He's a smart kid. He knows that. It's going to get worse before it gets better. But you'll come out the other side. Just grab on and forage through. It's just an adjustment period. Sending love, calming vibes, and wishes of wine for you to drink soon!!!
ReplyDeleteby far the worse year was age 4 with Piper.. F*cking Fours, I called them... I think it's a lot to do with them becoming so independent and finding their own way into the world and not understanding how to do it but wanting to do it sooo bad! It will pass... eventually!
ReplyDeleteMaybe just when it happens walk away, go into another room and maybe he will think Oh it isn\'t making Mommy upset, sometimes it works. Another thing maybe take away something he enjoys for the day and explain, when you act up and upset Mommy I take a toy away.Good luck. xo
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