My Breastfeeding Journey…So Far

 

I am certainly FAR from being any expert. Truth, I’ve only been at this new gig for almost 4 months. I figured that if we (Sam and I) only make it 4 months in our breastfeeding journey, then that in itself is a huge accomplishment. It is certainly a lot farther then I ever thought we would get.

The OBGYN that I saw during my pregnancy is a huge breastfeeding advocate. One of the first questions he asked me during my first visit was if I planned on nursing. Of course I had PLANNED on nursing. I knew the statistics, I had read the books…it was what was “best”. The truth however, I was both scared and intimidated.

Like there aren’t enough pressures for a parent, they also throw breastfeeding into the mix. It is pounded in your head about how it is the best choice, the number 1 choice and how you are basically giving your child super food! I would have been so guilt ridden if I hadn’t succeeded in breastfeeding.

The thing they neglect to tell you, how hard it can be! 

It was no secret that I didn’t absolutely love being pregnant. Labour and delivery went great for us and almost exactly how I wanted. Recovery was hard though. I was sore, tired and genuinely uncomfortable in my own skin. I had given my body to pregnancy and delivery and now it had to continue as I was the sole responsible one for keeping this baby nourished.

It all started in the hospital. As great as I found our hospital to be, not one professional come in to show to how to breastfeed. I did it how I “thought” it was suppose to happen, how I had seen in pictures. It wasn’t until a few hours before we were released that a nurse came to check me and kindly mentioned that I was holding the baby the wrong way!

Like any baby, Sam lost birth weight. But I was assured that my milk would be in around day 3 and he would re-gain his weight in no time.

On day 3, I assumed that my milk had come in. I had never experienced engorgement before but for some reason I wasn’t sore like the books suggested. Well, there was a very good reason for this. My milk didn’t come in.

The nurse came to weigh Sam at our home and noticed he had lost weight again. She looked at me with concern and then said she would be back in 2 more days. For the next two days I attempted to feed him every hour! Finally the day the nurse came back, my milk arrived! But again, he was down weight which made her want to come even more often to make sure he was growing.

It was smooth sailing for a while after I had milk. It was by far harder mentally then physically to nurse. I had to get up and feed Sam every 1 1/2- 2 hours, including at night! A session would take about 30 minutes. So pretty much, I would be running on 30 minute increments of sleep. I remember listening to Ryan snoring in our bedroom as I was nursing Sam and felt like smothering him with a pillow. I was so jealous of the freedom he had but to mention the sleep!

The nurse visits kept coming and she kept telling me “it shouldn’t hurt”. I felt like slapping her. I’m sorry but my nipples had never had this much “attention” before and they were SORE! I would tense up when Sam would latch on but within 30 seconds the pain would be gone. Thankfully, my Mom nursed her children and said that the soreness that I was feeling was normal, despite what the nurse said!

Everything was going smoothly when all the sudden Sam stopped nursing on one side. He would scream his head off and refuse to latch on that one side! I was frustrated and so was he. It was during this time that I SERIOUSLY considered quitting. I kept thinking was it worth the stress, the frustration and the tears? Was it really worth my lack of sleep? I asked the nurse and showed her how Sam wouldn’t latch. You know what she did? She took a book out of her bag and tried to read what could be wrong. She suggested I may have thrush as I had 2 of the 5 symptoms! Really? Geesh!

It took ALOT of Googling on my part and trial and error. Finally, I figured out the only thing that helped was putting a heating bag on the one side to help with the let down. Sam eventually learnt to suck harder to get the milk (lazy bum! Ha ha!).

Those first 6 weeks of parenthood was tough enough but adding in the stress of learning to breastfeed made it extra hard. Once 6 weeks was over? WOW! What a difference. All the sudden I had confidence and realized the ease nursing brought us. I would pump a little but learnt how much I hated the added chore of washing parts and bottles. I never needed a heat source to warm bottles and I was gaining comfort with nursing in public.

At almost 4 months into being the sole nourishment source for my son, I am now starting to imagine life when he starts to eat, a point where I can cut some calories (and hopefully a few pounds too) and where someone else can take the responsibility of feeding him. My ultimate goal is to make it to 6 months where Sam gets solely breastmilk.

Looking back on the last 4 months, I can’t say it hasn’t been very easy. In fact, I think breastfeeding has been one of the biggest challenges of my new parent life. Now that things have gotten comfortable and easy, I LOVE breastfeeding. I love those quiet moments with Sam, the pride I feel for my persistence and the awe that I feel knowing that I have been able to continue to nourish my baby with my own body. While I am SO glad that it has worked out for us, I have 100% understanding to those who formula feed and feel that it gets a bad rap…For those mom’s, I’m sorry.

If there is anything that I have learnt since becoming a Mommy, it is that everyone has their own story. Everyone has their own take on pregnancy, their own special labour experience and their own hurdles to overcome afterwards. We lucked out and I am so thankful that I have been able to be a breastfeeding Mom.

Happy Wednesday!

xo

Family Filled Weekend!

 

Happy Monday everyone! First, thank you all so much for the kind messages from Friday’s post. Its nice to know that Sam is in your prayers. At first I wasn’t going to share our story. For some reason I thought it was something I should keep personal. Then I realized  how good it feels to write things down. It’s a release. It is also something that I can look back on in years to come. Because that’s what parenthood is all about…the good and the bad!

This weekend was so nice! There was so much time spent with family enjoying some summer activities!

The weekend started our with our company golf tournament! While I opted out of the golf this year, I still joined the guys for a fun-filled supper!

Of course, Sam joined me and all the guys love getting him to smile for them! Sam is so lucky to be able to grow up with so many strong men (and women!) in his life.

Saturday morning it was up early to get ready for an exciting morning celebrating the first birthday of our nephew and godson, Everett! Little mans birthday was actually July 9 but with everyone’s busy summer schedules, we celebrated this weekend instead.

Thankfully, the rain held off so that everyone could enjoy the pool and a BBQ lunch!

Everett got to enjoy some yummy chocolate cake too!

In the early afternoon we loaded up in the car to head to the campsite of Ryan’s Aunt and Uncle. We had gotten word that his Aunt Lynn and Uncle Harv were going to be there camping as well! We were excited to go up for a visit with everyone and introduce Sam to his great Aunt and Uncle!

Picture courtesy of Sam’s grandpa, Eugene!

Sunday morning we lazed around and then all of us headed to church! Sam must be really learning what happens at church! During the “talking” parts of the service he sits and plays. As soon as we all get up to sing, he joins us with his own version of “singing”! He seems really proud of himself to be belting out the tunes! ha ha!

Afterwards, Ryan headed to go golfing while Sam and I headed to my parents for lunch. My parents had been out east at their cottage for almost 3 weeks! We really missed them and got to spent the afternoon visiting! Sam and Dad even took an afternoon nap together while Mom and I chatted!

It was a great weekend filled with time with family from both sides! It’s such a blessing to have so much family close by to involved in Sam’s life.

How was your weekend?

xo

The Scariest Day Of My Life

 

Some of you who are my regular readers know that for the most part, I try to post every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It’s a routine that I have come to enjoy. Last Friday I didn’t post however. The truth is I couldn’t post. I didn’t know what else to write about because I  think I was still in a state of shock and disbelief as to what had happened the  Wednesday before. I wanted to get what happen down in writing at some point but I wasn’t able to muster up the words that soon.

I’m ready now.

Sometimes I laugh at my husband who is this tall and strong man. The big guy has some serious fears. Heights, brides, Montreal traffic, snakes…the list can go on. I laugh because compared to him, I am pretty fearless. Sure there are things that freak me out  but I have a way of pushing through the fear.

It all started on the Monday. Sam and I were going about our usual day. He was playing on his floor mat when I noticed he was starting to get sleepy. He was only 15 minutes away from his next feeding so I scooped him up and placed him on my lap for some one-on-one play time. We were singing when all the sudden Sam looked at me with huge eyes. His arms shot straight out to his side and he continued to not move. Huge eyes, stiff body and a look of not really being there. Within about 15-20 seconds he seemed to relax but  was crying. Being that I was a little frightened about what had just happened, I brought him in close to me for a snuggle. Instantly, he fell fast asleep. Odd.

Last Wednesday was an exciting day! Sam was going to the local clinic to get measured and get his 3 month shots! I was so looking forward to the appointment because he hadn’t been weighed in so long and I was very curious as to how big he had gotten.

We arrived on time and checked in. Sam was starting to doze off a little in his car seat but with all the movement kept on getting woken up. We settled into the nurses office and I placed him on my lap facing the nurse as she starting asking me the normal questions.

I couldn’t see his face but I felt his body go completely stiff again. The difference this time is that all the sudden he started shaking uncontrollably. As the nurse turned around to ask me another question she saw me staring at Sam in shock and she watched him for a few seconds before grabbing him. I wish that I could say it was all over in a blink but it was the longest 40 seconds of my life. While I know the nurse is trained to be calm in those situations I could feel the tension in the room. She asked me if that had ever happened before and I explained the episode from Monday. I am sure she could see the tears welling up in my eyes and she calmly told me that they couldn’t give Sam his shots today and it would be wise to call my doctor as soon as I got home. If I couldn’t get Sam in to see him in the next two days, take him to the Emergency.

I tried to gather myself so that I could buckle him back up and take my son home. I avoided every eye in the waiting room on the way out. I had the mail key from our office because I offered to pick it up while I was out in town. I quickly entered our company office to drop off the key and talk as little as I could. When I got home I immediately called the doctors office and they could see him tomorrow. I called Ryan and tried to stay as calm as possible. I knew he was driving a big tractor trailer and the last thing I wanted was for something to happen to him too. I told him that everything was alright and we will go to the doctors tomorrow.

My heart was hurting and I felt like my head was ready to explode from trying to keep the panic inside. I needed my Mom. I called her and she started talking about her day but knew because I was responding that something was wrong. That’s when I broke down. My dad was listening on the other phone and told me to hang up and go straight to the Children’s Hospital. Something inside me told me that he was right, that is what I really wanted to do but I was trying to keep calm and listen to the nurses instructions.

I called Ryan back and told him I was taking Sam to the Children’s Hospital. He was already on his way home. After we had disconnected the first time, he already started making plans to get home.

Thankfully we had an uneventful trip to the hospital! I had never been there before and I was so impressed by how quickly we were seen and looked after. Sam checked out fine but we had to go back the next day to see a neurologist and get an EEG done. We were given lessons on what to do if he got another “episode” and were on our way.

I don’t think either of us slept that night. My mind was racing and I was always watching Sam in fear that he would start shaking again.

Again, we were looked after so well at the Children’s hospital! The EEG tech was wonderful and Sam was a rockstar as she set up his fancy new head gear. I had to nurse him to sleep, which was very easy, my boy loves to sleep! As I was holding my sleeping baby with all these wires attached to his head, a wave of emotion hit me.

When you are pregnant you are so excited for life ahead with your child. You imagine what they will look like, who they will grow to be and the fun that is to come. You never think about all the other things that come with having a baby. Particularly, the worry that you have for this little human. Sitting there in that dark lab room, I never could have imagine this is what I would be doing with my 3 month old baby.

We anxiously waited to meet with the Neurologist that afternoon. After a few more questions and minor tests, we were in the clear! There was nothing serious that had shown up on the EEG. To say that we breathed a sigh of relief would be an understatement.

For now, we are watching our little man and have only seen minor “episodes” since. We go back for an ultrasound of his brain in August and another consultation in the fall.

We are so thankful that our little guy is o.k. July 16 will be a day that I never forget. I am sure we will look back on that scary day for a while and think about the sheer terror that was felt when we thought something was wrong with Sam. We held our baby a little closer and give him a few extra kisses that night. It was also a good lesson in parenting with a new understanding for the saying;

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous.
It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

Happy Friday!

xo

What I’m Loving Today

 

Happy Wednesday everyone! I have had a fabulous couple of days so far! The last two days I have been concentrating on getting things done around home and work! After a crazy week last week, some of those things got pushed to the side. Thankfully, Sam has been  great at napping this week which has allowed me to catch up!

But, that’s not the only thing I am loving today. It’s been a while since I took time to appreciate all the little things in my world right now. Here is just a few of them…

I’m Loving…

Sally and Perkins from the blog Love, Life and Football. I have really enjoyed following along in their debt reducing journey! Yesterday they talked about the excuses people make when it comes to paying off their debt. It got me thinking about how relaxed Ryan and I have been about our own budget this summer. When things have gotten busy during this summer we would take the easy way out by spending a lot of money on restaurants and summer recreation. Therefore, I spent some time yesterday to rework our budget. After talking with Ryan, we are going to try our hardest to reduce spending for the month of August! Less eating out, less money recreation! There are so many fun things we can do this summer that doesn’t cost any money!

I’m Loving…

That we had a fun yet free evening last night! Bestie Jilly has talked about how she is going to spend some of her summer vacation time next week at “the camp” and how she has fond memories of listening to stories, enjoying the cottage activities and playing games. I was telling her about one of our favourite games, Domino Mexican Trains. So, last night she came over for a fun game of Trains with us! It was so nice to sit, visit and play this fun game (Sam was in bed, woo hoo!)! Fun and free Tuesday night!

I’m Loving…

Fellow Canadian blogger All You Need Is Love announced her pregnancy! I am looking forward to following along in her journey!

I’m Loving…

My maternity leggings. I’m almost 4 months post-baby and I am still rocking my maternity leggings. It’s not because my regular ones don’t fit but because the maternity ones are FAR more comfortable! I think ALL leggings should be high-control waist! It’s not like anyone can tell they are maternity!  

I’m Loving…

My Ring Sling that I purchased from Lily and Mama on Etsy! I have a Moby wrap and Ergo (baby carrier hoarder right here *raises hand*) but it is like an Olympic event trying to get those bad boys on by myself! There is something about the ease of a Ring Sling that makes using it even more sweet! Of course it’s comfortable but it’s the fact that I can take it on and off in 10 second that makes it so wonderful!

 

I’m Loving…

My two boys! Sam is loving to interact and play now! Ryan and Sam have their own little “talking” game! They can do this for a full hour back and forth! It’s fun to see how their father/son relationship is growing! I can tell this stage is getting fun for Ryan because they can interact now!

What are you loving today?

xo

Celebrating Birthdays By The Pool!

 

Happy Monday everyone! I cannot believe that it is almost August! Where has the summer been going? Summer always passes by so quickly but this year it is literally flying by!

Friday Sam and I started the weekend off by heading for groceries and getting things ready for a busy weekend ahead! I love having my little sidekick with me while I run errands.

This particular trip it was very important that Sam was with me as we needed to get a passport picture done for him! Getting a passport picture of a 3 month old is not an easy task! He can’t smile, can’t see my hands, no open mouth and looking straight at the camera! After about 30 takes, we got one! Woo hoo!

Saturday morning Sam slept in nice and late which allowed Ryan and I to do some tidying up before he headed for a round of golf! Once Sam woke up he and I continued to putter around getting ready for the afternoons activities! Once everything was ready we had a little rock on the front porch (my favourite place!) and then he went down for a nap!

Before I knew it, it was 2 PM and people started arriving. You may remember from years passed that we would host a big pool party for all of our friends! This party was getting so large that last year we invited 80 people (kids included)! Of course our summer looks a lot different this year so we opted to put that party on hold for this year. For my close group of girlfriends, when someone celebrates a birthday we always do something special. We have 2 girls that have birthdays in July so I thought it would be fun to have a mini pool party to celebrate their birthdays instead of going out for supper or something!

There is so many kiddos now and it was a beautiful day so in no time everyone was in the pool!

We had a yummy BBQ super with a special spread of other treats but the best part was chatting with girlfriends as the afternoon flew by!

After supper everyone had a second wind so it was back in the pool! Even some of the more tentative swimmers got brave and jumped in!

It’s crazy how our group has changed over the years with a addition of little ones (2 more to come this year!) but it’s great that we still make an effort to get together to celebrate one another’s birthdays! It’s a great opportunity to step away from our busy lives and have some good old fashioned girl time!

Sunday morning we lazed around and got ready for church! Sam was in such a fun mood all day! Very alert, talkative and smiley! After church we decided to do our July date, despite the rainy weather! But more on that another time! 

How was your weekend?

xo

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

 

Happy Wednesday everyone! I hope your week is flying by! Thank you for all the well wishes yesterday! I am certainly a lot better then how I was feeling on Monday!

Remembered when I talked about the haircut that I never got when I was VERY pregnant? While I was glad at the time that I didn’t get my hair hair, it was still on my mind. Sam’s newest chew/grab toy started to be my hair a couple of weeks ago. While he was nursing it was the perfect length for him to hold onto. His sticky little hands could get a nice grasp on my locks. When Sam turned 3 months, I also started to notice something odd. When I was brushing my hair in the morning, there was ALOT more of it in the brush and on the floor. I was starting to loose the beautiful thick locks that I got during pregnancy. Boo! It was time to call the hairdresser!

Before

I started researching hairstyles again. While I wanted to go shorter I also knew that it had to be long enough to pull back. I use to be the type of person that would bring a thick or curly hairstyle to my hairdresser. But in reality, my hair will never look like that. My hair is thin, fairly flat and always straight (unless I take time to curl it, which doesn’t happen often anymore). I needed a hairstyle that would suit all those things! When I saw a picture of Sandra Bullock, who also happens to be one of my favourite actresses, I knew it was the style I was looking for.

It was a very last minute appointment but within 24 hours of calling my hairdresser, I was getting my haircut. Thankfully, my mother-in-law lives in the same small community and was able to take Sam for the hour so that I actually got a relaxed haircut!

My hairdresser also happens to be a friend and like I mentioned before, has no problem telling me “no” when I suggest a bad haircut. Ha ha! When I showed her the picture of Sandra Bullock and she instantly said “cute”, I knew we were good to go!

While I was ready to get my haircut, I am usually the kind of girl that only ever gets a trim. So, to watch 3-4 inches of hair fall to the floor was intimidating.

When she was done my head actually felt lighter and my hair felt so much healthier with all of the damaged parts gone. After styling it I ran my fingers through my shorter locks and knew I had made the right choice. It was great.

It’s hard for me to make a  huge change because I don’t color my hair and it is still thin and straight! But, I love the difference and after living with my new length for the last week, I am actually wanting to go a little shorter next time! Sam is no longer able to get a hold of my hair when nursing and the pieces falling to the floor are a lot less long, ha ha!

Happy Wednesday!

xo

Great Weekend, Crappy Monday!

 

Happy Tuesday everyone! When I went to bed Sunday, I couldn’t help but think about all the fun that happened! I even remember thinking about my Monday weekend recap and talking about all the fun that we had this weekend.

And then Monday morning came around and I woke up really not right. So, this girl went back to sleep! When Sam woke up at 8, I thought it was weird that I slept that long as well. But, I was feeling slightly better so I went along with my morning. By 10, it hit me…I was definitely sick! I can’t remember the last time I was affected by any sickness. I religiously take vitamins and I am blessed with good health. I guess because I give my antibodies to Sam through nursing, I am more prone to getting sick! It hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s as if 2 years of never being sick all built up to one dandy sickness. I think Sam realized that I wasn’t feeling right because he wasn’t his normal self either. At point one we were laying on the couch and both of us crying! ha ha! That’s just real life! And P.S- Moms should not be allowed to get sick! Too much to do!

But, I still want to document the fun that we had this weekend!

This weekend we started off with our first BBQ pizza of the summer! Yum! 

It was such a beautiful evening on Friday that we opted to stay outside and all enjoy the pool! Sam is still loving the pool!

It was a long winter for anyone who worked in snow! Ryan was one of them and his manager invited all the guys who worked with him on this certain site to a celebration party! They were celebrating getting through the season alive and through the contract in general.

Pat and his wife cooked a FEAST! The food just kept coming and coming! One of the food items was a veggie tray! Of course my veggie-hating-husband avoided it like the plague. We moved to the lawn after supper to pick teams and play latters! Ryan and I ended up on opposite teams and being the competitive couple that we are, we placed a bet! If I won, Ryan had to eat one vegetable of each kind on the tray! He agreed. I had never played before so I guess I had a touch of beginners luck because I kicked his butt! Ryan chocked down all his veggies as promised!  

Being that the contract that these fellows worked on last year wasn’t re-awarded for next year, they didn’t need the pager anymore! The decided to have a little game. The one who hit the pager with a paintball gun first, won a bottle of whiskey! Even us girls got a shot! Ryan ended up being the winner but all the boys won a bottle! And I never have to see that pager again, thank goodness!

It was a dreary morning on Sunday but Sam and I were up early so we got ready and headed to church. We came home to lunch ready for us by Ryan and then we relaxed before heading to a baby shower! Ryan offered to keep Sam but I figured he would nap during the shower. This mommy has learnt her lesson, never mess with nap time! The guest of honour was hardly there and Ryan (thankfully) came to get our fussy and tired boy!

For supper we had gotten a text from cousins (Ryan’s side) who said they were down to our area from North Bay! We picked Montana’s for supper and met them for an amazing visit! We were so happy to see them and introduce them to our little man! Supper FLEW by because we were having so much fun laughing and visiting with them! Unfortunately, we had to say good bye (for now) and head it home! But Sam is so lucky to have such amazing cousins to have in his life and we can’t wait to see them again!

On our way home Ryan swung off the road to dairy queen for a treat! I didn’t even have to tell him what I wanted, he knows my favourite! Ice cream is always a great way to end a weekend!

Such a great weekend spent together and with friends and family! I love summer weekends, the days are never boring and there is always something fun planned!

Hope you all had a great weekend!

xo

Year Of Dates 2014–June

 

Happy Friday everyone! It’s been a busy week around here and therefore it has flown by! I am so looking forward to a weekend mostly at home because there are a few projects that I want to do.

Even though our May date was a big fail, Ryan had planned June so that it was impossible not to do!

It says, “Mmmmmm Can you smmeeeelllllllllllll what the Rock is COOKIN??? Hahahahahahaha yeah baby, it is the summer of no sleep, late night poopy diapers and a crying baby!!! Who has time to cook supper, lunch or breakfasts??? So, why not head down to Spark street, Ottawa have some ribs from Ribfest? A nice quick trip for someone else’s cooking?

Love Always

Your Hubby”

I was SUPER excited and super impressed by this date! The last time we went to Ribfest with Jilly  and the road washed out leaving us deserted on the wrong side and we couldn’t go home! Definitely a funny story now but had left a bitter taste in my mouth for Ribfest because I always associated it with this scary night!

It was time to create a new memory so we loaded up one Friday evening and got ready for some yummy food! 

We are so lucky to be only about an hours drive from the hustle and bustle of downtown Ottawa where lots of amazing events take place! Sparks Street is plugged every June with stations having a cookout to compete for the best ribs, chicken, pulled pork and of course, sauce!

It was great having the stroller because the packs of people would just move out of the way for us!  

We decided on Billy Bones and took our place in line smelling the yummy food as we waited about 10 minutes!

We ordered and received our food in about 1 minute and found a free bench to sit and enjoy our supper!

My plate that I chose was ribs, pulled pork, beans and coleslaw! Yum!

The food was SO YUMMY and I am glad we found a bench to sit and enjoy our meals! It was a beautiful night to have an outdoor supper! It was nice to sit back and “people watch” while enjoying each others company and BBQ feast.

It was a pretty busy night for Ribfest and could only park far away so we grabbed a couple drinks to wash down our meals and take a nice long stroll to the car. It was a good way to help walk off our very full bellies!

I don’t know why but I find this picture extremely sexy! I just love to see my husband being a father. He insisted on pushing the stroller the whole time. I think it’s more because he doesn’t trust my driving! ha ha!

It was a super fun evening out with my love for a summer BBQ cookout that didn’t have to be cooked by me! We don’t get to travel to downtown often but it’s nice to get out to the “big city” every once in awhile. Ribfest is only for one week in June and I loved that this date had a specific calendar day picked out so we could plan our schedules to suit! It was a no fail plan!

Happy Friday!

xo