As I write this you are peacefully sleeping upstairs in your crib, not even aware of the fact that today is your birthday!
As I look into the monitor and see you, my mind flashes back to the first time I watched you sleep there beside me in your bassinet in the hospital. The hours of labour had melted away as I stared at your sweet face and thought how much you resembled your Daddy. I was in shock that you were a boy and you were still nameless until the next morning.
A year later and in a way, I am still feeling shocked. How is it that I have been lucky enough to be blessed to be your Mommy? I feel honoured to have watched and helped you grow over the last 12 months. Every new milestone and accomplishment makes me so proud.
I have heard a lot of Mommies get really sad when their babies turn 1. I hear it is because you are no longer considered a “baby” but a “toddler” instead. Motherhood is kind of cruel. In one way you want SO badly to hold onto your little baby but you also want them to grow and thrive. Know this my sweet boy; no matter how old you get, you will ALWAYS be my baby!
Last night when I was about to put you in your crib to sleep I held you just a minute longer. I give you one extra little hug and kiss and I closed my eyes and deeply took in the smell of you. The smell and feel of my little baby one last time. When I said “good night, I love you”, I was also saying it to my baby knowing today you would wake up a toddler. I walked out the door and I let a single tear fall down my cheek.
This morning, I am excited to wake you up and celebrate the fact that you are ONE! We are going to celebrate the last 12 months of your life and all the wonderful things that you have brought to us.
Today you are a toddler and I am excited for all the fun things that life will bring you. As you start to gain confidence and independence know that Mommy and Daddy are always just a step behind you, ready to catch you fall and help you back up.
I love you!