Happy Friday everyone! Today I am 15 weeks pregnant! I don’t know why, but that feels like a milestone to me! 14 weeks you are just beginning your 2nd trimester and 15 weeks makes me feel like we are well into the 2nd! It’s funny the mind games that you play with yourself when you are pregnant. Certain milestones mean something different to different women.
Now that I am “well” into my 2nd trimester I wanted to share with you all a collection of thoughts I had been compiling throughout my 1st trimester. You think that you know yourself and your body really well until you get pregnant. Then, things change because truthfully, your body isn’t 100% yours anymore.
Things I’ve learnt:
1. Don’t be the last to laugh. The nausea that you think you’ve been lucky enough to avoid can hit you like a freight train
Keep you ambitions low. I had a goal to walk 4 KM at least 3 times a week from the time I found out I was pregnant. Then nausea hit and I curled up in the fetal position in front of the t.v instead.
2. Being this level of tired is like nothing you have ever experienced. I have been REALLY tired before. I have even had all nighters and worked the next day and still somewhat functioned. But it’s a whole other level of tired. It’s like when your bones ache with the flu, mixed in with 48 hours of no sleep and a massive brain fart all rolled into one.
3. I am not an elegant puker! There I said it! Some ladies can be so quiet and graceful when they are being sick. They can function immediately afterwards like nothing happened!
Not me! I cry, I whine and there is no doubt behind a closed bathroom door what I am doing because I am loud!
4. Cravings and food aversions are no joke! I was a food lover before I became pregnant! Now, most of the stuff I use to LOVE, I can’t stand! It’s a cruel joke.
Things they don’t tell you:
1. Nausea is not what you expect. For me, for the most part, I didn’t even puke. Instead, I had that puke a little in my mouth constantly instead! (TMI?) It was this constant feeling in my throat like I was going to be sick. Then the build up….then…A burp…with a little bit of vomit immediately after…joy! In week 6 to week 10, this was constant! Happening 30 or more times a day!
2.. Women who have gone through pregnancy related sickness give you that “knowing” look. You hear about how yucky you will feel but it’s pretty much down-played in every book you read. Then when you finally announce that you are pregnant, women begin looking at you with a knowing look saying, “So…how are you feeling”. The sadness in their eyes tell me that they knew this was going to happen to me yet no body gives you TRUE fair warning!
3. You really are a crazy person. Ok, this one should really be in the “things I’ve learnt” category but I want to blame someone on my moodiness (see, crazy person!) so I am going to point the finger at “they” for not telling me how crazy I would ACTUALLY get.
Some days I was as clingy as a 14 year old girl to a Justin Bieber look alike! I would be so lovey and huggable. You could probably see my head do a 360 degree turn, all exorcist style, as I changed from a Carebear to The Wicked Witch of South Onslow!
Here is an example of a conversation that took place one day after work…
Lindsay walks into the kitchen after work to see Ryan cooking dinner. Her head has been hurting all day and she didn't get in a lunch time nap. She sets her purse down on the counter top, Ryan begins walking over to his wife to give her a kiss. Before Ryan can reach his wife she turns around to face the fridge…
"Shut the f*@k up fridge!
Turning to face Ryan…
“WHHHHHYYY IS IT SO LOUD?!!!” – Lindsay now in tears.
Things To Never Say To Your Wife – First Trimester Addition
Things to NEVER, EVER to say to your expectant wife in the first trimester:
1. “Why are you so tired?” “I’ve been the one doing everything, I should be the tired one.”
- This will cause you to be in the doghouse and sleep on the couch for at least a week. Just shut up and empty the dishwasher.
2. While you are hugging the porcelain throne..”You know if you ate better I bet you would stop puking all the time”.
- Be prepared to get something thrown at you. Just go ahead and go to the store to buy more Sour Patch Kids before you even begin to apologize.
3. “You know if you folded my laundry for me then you would never get mad at me for having the basket full of clothes”.
- Did you miss the part about moodiness dear husbands?
4. “Remember the days when you use to cook supper every night. When will that happen again? Soon?”
- Keep it up and you’ll be eating Roman noodles for another month!
5. “Are you really going to eat both slices of pizza? I was kind of thinking you were going to give that second piece to me.”
- Serves you right for not ordering double. Hunger can strike at any moment and I expect you to be a mind reader and anticipate this!
6. “Yes, I did eat the rest of your bag of sour patch kids.”
– Warning: This may induce death.