Happy Wednesday everyone. I am happy to report that we did it. Sam (and I) survived his first day of Daycare.
As you all knew, leading up to the day was difficult for me. I was anxious for the new routine but also extremely sad realizing that my time with him at home was over. No longer would I be seeing him all day, every day. Now he would be in someone else’s care from 7-5 every week day. It made me feel as though my time as his Mom was over. (I know, not true. But this was what was going through my head).
Despite these feelings, my work load at home has grown and grown and I’ve been falling behind. I NEEDED to go back to work. This week Sam is transitioning slowing into Daycare. Just a few hours on Monday, today and Friday. The goal being that by his first birthday he can do a full day in someone else’s care and for 5 days a week.
Sunday night I packed all his stuff, picked out his clothes and had one big snuggle fest before he went to bed. In the morning we got ready and headed out the door. Ryan had to work the night before and I was glad to have him there.
Of course, like any of Sam’s other milestones, I had to take a picture!
A lot of people liked Sam’s back-pack. It is very hard to find a decent sized children’s back-pack when it’s not back to school season! Thankfully, Etsy to the rescue! Found his at BreezyOaksDesigns.
The whole drive to the Daycare I was holding back tears. Our Daycare has a great “home” policy. She has expressed many a times that if we ever wanted to be there to watch him interact then we are more then welcome. This was comforting but I knew after I had put all of Sam’s stuff into his cubby that I couldn’t stay. I was about to have a melt down. By this time Sam had already crawled away and was playing with the other kids. That was really comforting. I gave him a quick kiss and headed out the door. The very SECOND the door closed behind me, I lost it.
Ryan drove away and I cried and cried and cried. We only had a few hours to kill before it was time to pick Sam up again. I had already said that I wasn’t going to work because I knew I would be in no shape for it! Ryan had to go pay his license and was very happy that around the location was filled with four wheelers and boats. He was having so much fun looking at all of these toys and all I could think of was that something was missing, Sam wasn’t there. For over 11 months, Sam has barely left our side and now he wasn’t there. Of course this realization also made me break out in tears.
I decided to grab a HUGE cinnamon bun and coffee from a little cafe and sit by myself. Ryan went off to do his thing and I stayed and enjoyed my treat while filling out Sam’s profile paperwork. At around 9:30 I got a text from the daycare provider. My heart sunk. Something must have been wrong.
I opened my phone to see my boy peacefully sleeping and some good news. So far, Sam was doing great. Even put himself down to sleep with the other young children for a morning nap. (Ps- LOVE that she texts me! It’s so easy and getting this update MADE my day!)
At this point, there were no more tears. My boy was happy and adjusting and I was going to do the same for him! I opened up my phone and did a couple work related things! I vowed to use the time away from Sam and be the most productive that I can be. No more tears. I can’t promise there won’t be anymore sadness or guilt but I’m going to try to push those feelings aside. I’m going to work hard and provide for him and make him proud of his working Momma!
We happily picked up our boy and he was still where I left him, happily playing with his new friends! We are up, back-pack ready and all set for day 2! This time, no tears…hopefully…ha ha!